woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
