i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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