i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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