Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Life is so much better after having sex.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
