What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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