More tranny stories later!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
