I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
