is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
