Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
