watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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