so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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