Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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