Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
