i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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