Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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