Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
