Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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