i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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