Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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