i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
