I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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