It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
