i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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