I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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