The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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