im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
