I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
