8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
