Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
