D3 body, D1 cock
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
