i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
