You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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