why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
