he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
