One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
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don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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