we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
