It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
