He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
