remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
