i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
