you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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