Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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