I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
