just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
