And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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