So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
