i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
