But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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