It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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