Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
