It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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