i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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