Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
