found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
