Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
