So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
