We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
