He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
