Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
