You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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