So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize