it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
