I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
