she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
