I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does it feel to date your dad?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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