can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
should my penis look like a turkey
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
