I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
