Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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